Seeking His word. Less me, more Him. No spirit but the Holy Spirit.

He leaves the 99 For the 1…

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32–48 minutes

Sometimes… I just wish I could allow others to either feel what I’m feeling for a second… Or; if there were some cool way to be able to lift up your skin so somebody could see the condition within me. The, quite literal—shotgun wound I feel in my chest and or stomach at times… Right in the middle of the chest, or right above the belly button. In between the belly button and the rib cage… it’s paralyzing. I can’t tell if I’m going to throw up, possibly have the opposite out of the other end, or… Is it just anxiety? I now my Father knows the truth…


The amount of praying… No prayer is ever enough in my eyes. Prayer is very powerful. Especially in the name, power and authority of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the Messiah. But… This all (as in my wilderness season) kicked off last year.

After years of therapy, (starting at 16 years old) at 30 years old, I started noticing that… Something is off. With me. And, I don’t mean this in a harsh, self-shaming/condemnation/mean way to myself. I mean this in a way like, I started realizing that some of the things that happened to me—that I saw as normal, were not. The ways I operated, were not normal, or healthy… They were in fact, not “normal” at all.

What even IS normal? I never found normal in the world… So… What is it? Where is it? I believe normal, is a silly word designed to make individuals feel outcasted—I’m serious. Let’s look at it, shall we?

Origin: Latin Root

  • From norma = “a carpenter’s square, rule, pattern”
  • Norma comes from gnō- (to know) in Proto-Indo-European (PIE), meaning “that which is made straight, a standard.”
  • Original Meaning:
    • In classical Latin, norma referred to a literal measuring tool—a square used to ensure straightness. **Side note: think of the biblical “rod”… NEAT!😍
    • By metaphor, it became “a rule” or “a standard” for behavior or measurement.
  • Adoption into English:
    • Late 15th century: normal entered English via French (normal), meaning “conforming to a rule.” **BRUH…..
    • Mid-19th century: Shifted into scientific usage (“perpendicular, at right angles”) and later into social norms—“usual, regular, standard behavior.”

  • Secular or “Modern” Definition:
    • “Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.”
    • Used to categorize people, behaviors, or things as “within acceptable limits.”
  • Hidden Implication:
    • Imposes conformity to man-made systems or expectations.
    • Carries an unspoken judgment: anything “abnormal” is defective or undesirable.

  • No direct Hebrew/Greek equivalent:
    • The Bible does not use “normal” as a concept.
    • Instead, God uses holy (קָדוֹשׁ – qadosh) and set apart to describe what is right in His sight.
  • God’s Standard vs. Man’s Standard:
    • Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.”
    • “Normal” is a worldly standard rooted in consensus, not righteousness.
    • In God’s Kingdom, what’s “normal” on Earth is often upside down:
      • Luke 16:15 “For that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.”
  • Spiritually:
    • Normalcy is often a tool of the enemy to bind people into complacency and systems of control (Pharisaical legalism, societal pressure).
    • The Lord calls His people to be a “peculiar people” (1 Peter 2:9).

So… I hope that clears up some worldly indoctrination and/or programming for you. Because news flash; we do not understand what “normal” even is. Society is LITERALLY broken up into groups. Starts with business, your job. Then, next up is hobbies. Clicks: clicks EVERYWHERE; fitness (bodybuilders, weightlifters, runners, bikers, triathletes, etc) is a great example that can be applied to all “clicks”. There’s the “main persuit”, and then under that there’s little branches. Same with the modern “church”… See what I mean?

Okay; back to the story.

Being an adult, 31 years old, and processing childhood trauma is wild. It’s like, suddenly one day you wake up and realize why everything was so jacked up. Why nothing was normal… nothing, ever. Why I always felt like a weirdo, why I spoke that over myself. Why I always felt like… I literally didn’t belong. WHY teachers, bosses, and just random people always TARGETED me, persecuting me for no reason… and I understand this is hard to believe… It’s easy to think that I’m paranoid and victimizing myself, but please understand… I have finally been blessed with other people witnessing this happening in real time… I know what I’ve experienced, and experience…

Here’s the deal: the truth is; God’s children do genuinely walk in honesty, integrity, morality, discipline, and authenticity. There ARE real people that have GOOD, TRUE, PURE intentions for others, for life, for justice and injustice… And if you are that way, you may have felt the same way your entire life. Because, I’ve learned… Most people are actually… genuinely dishonest…

Why I was so saddened and shocked to learn this, I don’t know. But, I believe that came from the scales of leviathan over my eyes that the good Lord Jesus Christ BROKE off of me! Programming, being kept under an umbrella. I didn’t even see for like… 30 years. This wake up process is not the one you’re thinking of. It’s not this awakening that everybody on TikTok talks about… It’s different. It’s a death. A death of my old self. A death of the prison that I had created from beliefs that had been implanted in my head from … Man. What does God’s word say about man and doctrines of man? And the natural state of the world and man? That they are naturally demonic… Don’t believe me? Ask Google.

If you have felt this way, please go read this blog from Nathan Reynolds. Gave me a heaping cup of hope in Christ Jesus today.

https://snatchedfromtheflames.com/2019/05/25/chapter-forty-one-chained-even-when-youre-free/?amp=1

**Please understand: I am not insinuating that what happened to me, happened to you. Please understand, what I’m discussing is a generational, occult, secret society under the disguise of brotherhood… This information, in total (not included in this blog; this is just pieces of my personal testimony) is HIGHLY complex, secretive, and hard to find the truth due to being buried. However; no stone may be left unturned. May the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth protect anyone reading this, binding the spirit of confusion, false influence to the deep well, and LOOSING the Sprit of Truth over the person reading this. May only Your Truth, healing, and Light be shed on the darkness bringing exposure for the Glory of the Kingdom of God — Father, I ask this in Jesus’ name, amen.**

The next facet I’ll dive into is: how my biological father forced my mother to have an abortion six months before conceiving me—control, fear, manipulation pattern. And on top of that… In order for her to not be forced into aborting me (which IS a sacrifice to molech) she had to hide her pregnancy completely… Notation of pattern; secrecy, silence out of fear of consequence.

So, my mom had to hide her pregnancy with me. Hiding that from everybody for 3 to 4 months. Do you know what the Lord showed me about that? Exodus… The book of Exodus. Similar to Moses’ mother, eh? Crazy, right?

One day, her and my grandmother where I guess grocery shopping, my grandma saw the bump… The rest is history. From my understanding, from that moment forward… Legal battle broke out. Accusations (who’s the accuser?) from my biological family and father that my mom basically had cheated on him… Was NOT the case; it was actually the opposite… They claimed that I was in no way shape or form his child.

I can only imagine how hurtful that was for my mom… Knowing what had just happened to her; knowing for a fact, there was no way that she had enough time to process what had transpired. And then… You’re pregnant again, and now he’s denying it? And his family? Geez… I can only imagine. My heart sincerely feels for my mother at 19 years old… I genuinely have 0 remorse towards her, at all. I can sympathize with the position she was put in. And I believe, through me that the Lord has freed her of that action; He woke me up on my 31st birthday last year at 6 AM and had me repent for it… One of those things the Lord asks you to do, you don’t understand but you also don’t question it. You just do it… He then, works miracles🫶🏼… And I believe in Jesus name that she will be free. 

However have you looked into the science behind how major stress, rejection, etc. affects a child in the womb? Seriously. Think about it, words are frequencies. So are thoughts… You don’t think the baby can feel the stress the mother has? Do you think the baby can feel the denial, stress and rejection? I never really thought about this, but I do believe that the answer is yes.


 So, at 1 years old he, biological father, signed his legal rights away of being my father (tried to tell me that state of TX forced him to, who knows. I also… Don’t care). So, next step… Now enters the biological grandparents. This is where things get weird.
 
I’m unsure why this happened, and even ChatGPT has said that it’s not usual… Not common… For things like this to happen. But, they ended up getting grandparents rights in the state of Texas and… I believe (from what I remember) I was required to go over there once a month on a weekend. Now… This is where things get fuzzy. And that is not a coincidence, I can’t remember how old I was when it started, or how long it lasted. Nothing. Sitting down and thinking about the fact that this was my reality has just reaffirmed my belief and understanding that the state of Texas as an entity whom protects those who harm children. I have many examples of this personally and unfortunately, from friends with children… 
 
Even though I don’t really remember how old I was when I first started going over there, I do remember seeing these people and not understanding why the heck I was with them. They were cool, they gave me ice cream… Owned businesses in Mckinney, TX, including an ice cream shop—convenient, right? Orange sherbet still to this day makes my stomach churn for some reason… I remember they’d give me toys, “things” that are exciting and distracting to children. But I remember feeling this… unexplainable coldness. Almost like a wicked stepmother. But I never understood why I had that feeling… Ever. And I had nothing to back it up… It was just a feeling that I chopped up to probably something where I just adopted a feeling from my mother disliking these people. Lol… well… 20ish years later I believe I found out different.
 
I want to make this very clear to anybody who ends up reading this: Absolutely nobody but myself is responsible for any opinions, memories, words, and or ideologies. I did not get information from anybody, this is not based off of other people‘s opinions, this is based off of my memories… My brain, my body, somatic feelings, The Lord telling and showing me things, and very, very, very clear… Learning about THE TRUTH of these occults and how they operate in society under the radar, in plain sight. I’ve experienced dark, violent and wicked spiritual warfare, where I was repeatedly attacked by the demonic… I found these things out by pattern recognition, prayer, and the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately, and fortunately—I do have to admit; I am not sure what’s real (as in, what’s a physical memory, and what is purely spiritual) and what’s not yet… That’s the sad part. I don’t know if I will ever know the truth. At least while I’m in this body I have now… But I do know, I trust how I feel. I trust the Lord, I trust my discernment, I trust my gut feelings now… I was trained not to. Somehow… Someway… I was programmed. I know it because I’ve had to break it. I know what my ancestral bloodline(s) were involved in… On 2 sides… possibly 3. I know about luciferian and pagan cults, I know about the occult, specifically Freemasonry, the levels… Once you start learning about the stuff, you realize that this is a very, very dark world… And you should never, ever… Trust your children with a stranger. Ever. I’m still, at this age, at the point where I’m piecing together these memories, and trying my best to heal alongside the Lord leading me… Fighting getting pulled back in the “manic searching”, the “I must search and find what happened to me”, back to the Lord’s will of—I PRAISE, ALWAYS… Praise, focus on the Lord, and the Lord alone. A sweet friend reminded me of this, this morning <3. This is an extremely painful process, but I want to make it very clear… These words written may not be blamed, and or pinned on anybody around me.. I’m not being influenced, nobody’s telling me things, I’m not finding this on social media scrolling… This is from me reading scholarly articles, victim testimonials, and connecting the dots myself by what I’ve had to work on in very heavy, deep spiritual warfare with my Heavenly Father.

Okay, let’s get in to some background.

This is so sad for me to say… But the first (pagan) “holiday” after my sister passed away (3 years ago yesterday, Jay 20th, 2025) was the first year I felt what… Freedom, I guess felt like. Gosh, that’s so sad… Please let me explain.
 
My entire life, holidays were a big thing. Of course. I live in America… Do I celebrate holidays anymore? Nope. No passivity or negotiation to the kingdom of darkness here. We do not negotiate with terrorists… However… It was a part of my growing up.

Now, with my side of the family (this is the side I will consistently refer to as my family, they are the ones I’ve always been in good standing with. If anything, I see them as victims also) holidays were amazing. It was about getting together as a FAMILY, sitting down and having a meal together.

This side of my family is a God send… Seriously; God knows, had I not had them… Especially my grandfather… I probably wouldn’t be here. He showed me what a man submitted to the Lord looked like. I never understood that until later last year. My grandfather had a very high position at a very big corporation that is worldwide, for a number of years. I was raised in a wealthy family, spoiled. But not spoiled in a way like today… I was taught manners, respect, maturity, table manners, looking people in the eye, shaking their hand, saying “hello, how are you?” with a smile, and the ideology of ALWAYS “treating the janitor and the CEO the exact same respect and kindness”. Because… at the end of the day… Guess what? We all die the same way, you can’t take your business, trophies, awards, or worldly boasts with you. But, I say all that to say, I had a strong family with strong values and… While there were absolutely some generational things going on I didn’t see until more recent (silence, addiction, passivity, infirmity, and possibly abuse); but still, it always bothered me so much that we could never talk about the things that weren’t… Pretty. That plays a big part in why I am the way I am now.
 
But guess what? I had the best grandfather ever because of the Lord, and as soon as he knew I was in the womb, to the day he died; he was about to go to war for me. I remember the only time I’d ever see fury in his eyes was when we discussed this family. He truly had the righteous anger to protect women and children from the vile darkness of the world. That he did. I’m forever thankful…

Of course, I don’t remember what transpired. I was a YOUNG child. However, anywhere from 2 to 4 years ago I started expressing to my mom that I thought, I may have possibly been sexually abused. I didn’t know why I thought this all the sudden, but something just felt off to me… I have always been very… I don’t wanna say an oddball, but different. I have. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But, a lot of people that were raised in my generation, and are my age, you know—went more of the “hypersexual route”. A lot of people do that with trauma, to cope, to numb, to get validation and love that… Is not really love, but that’s how our younger selves think we receive love. However, I never liked people touching me after a certain age… But I have absolutely zero recollection of anything happening to me. Weird, right?
 
Until I was five years old, my mom and I lived with my grandparents. We lived on a beautiful piece of property in the country, I had my very own swingset, and honestly entire playground, we had tons of animals, deer, horses, goats, peacocks, chickens, etc. Needless to say, I was an outdoor girly raised in the sticks. I was taught survivors skills, how to drive, fishing, hunting techniques and general outdoor nature rules at a VERY young age from my grandfather. Very grateful for this! I’ve come to believe recently that, because I played outside by myself so much… I have this huge massive feeling that I was playing with Jesus a lot. Do I know why? No. But I remember this light always with me…
 
I remember being around maybe three years old, maybe four. I was looking in the mirror and I remember something within me saying “you are meant for a big things”. But after that, I remember all the sudden, getting really upset and hating the way that my cheeks looked… I was thinking I was fat, and I was pulling at my cheeks, and I remember being really upset. You know, as a girl when you’re trying to brush your hair and it has that weird texture where your brush just won’t go all the way through it smoothly? And you’re hot, you’re trying to get ready quickly… You get frustrated? (LOL) That’s that feeling that I had… As a little girl that young, I started pulling on my cheeks and thinking that I hated myself… Where did I get this belief? Where did I even find the understanding to think about myself this way? I was not raised this way… I was not raised to even think that way… Ever. So, why?

These are the types of questions I’ve started asking myself as things have started coming back to me… For the first time in my life, I am allowing myself to remember with the help of the Lord God of hosts.
 
My healing has been rapid. Painful. Stripping… When I tell you, I have physically received the Lord’s fire of refinement that is discussed throughout the Bible, but definitely in revelation when He discusses buying gold or silver, refined by Him. As this has happened… I have received so much clarity from the Lord. I’m so thankful for that… But also, memories have come back…

Before I really started getting into deliverance with the Lord, I realized that I had PTSD and CPTSD… At the minimum. The Lord has healed me from “panic disorder” and “clinical depression” in my earth 20s, so I’m no stranger to this stuff. Which I believe are demonic attachments and in Jesus name I will be completely healed of these… But it goes deeper than that. More like, DID… Dissociation massively… I never knew it. I didn’t know what it was… I just thought that’s how it was. Everyone did that, felt like this. Which is so odd. Because, do you understand how much therapy I’ve been through? Like, why have I not had this discovery yet? I’M 31 lol…

This system fails the broken. I believe, by design.
 
So, for the first time this year, I met my biological father. When I met him, everything seemed perfect. I have two half siblings, waiting to meet me, I had a whole other side of my family that loved me (so he says), and they wanted me to get to holidays and… Just to have a relationship again as soon as possible. The holiday requests were weird to me… He kept saying no pressure, but he absolutely was pressuring. I remember feeling rushed, for what? And him repeatedly asking “did you get the money?”—he’d left a small trust for me. That I found out… Was ABSOLUTELY blood money. Somehow, someway. How could he express that he had to give me up because he had nothing, yet was able to leave me $10,000? After forgetting, he bragged about stealing drugs from the cartel… Eeek. Yeah

Blood money… For record; I never got the money. I got to use… 3k of it? Maybe. But, it was used…. Not by me.

**Just for notation purposes, please understand that I was very clear, vocally, via text, etc. About the fact that I was not ready to meet my siblings yet considering my grieving process of losing my sister three years ago yesterday… On top of that, my entire family being ripped apart, I’m just not OK right now… And that’s OK. He should respect that with no problem, right? You would think…
 
When we met, we talked for hours. My mom was there. I remember him talking so much about Scandinavian/Viking heritage, genetics, strong, genetics, athleticism, his parents, and basically just made it seem like everyone was one big, happy family, and that they had no issues… I would love to believe that, but it’s just not realistic. There’s other stuff I won’t get in to, but just know: It was a situation you can just tell… Something AINT RIGHT MAN. And considering the man that adopted me because this dude signed his rights off was a textbook narcissist also, I just don’t… Believe people that easily. I’m sus.
 
But, whatever—it went well so I left happy. After that… Things started feeling off. He kept saying (still) no pressure on when to meet my siblings, when to come over and get involved with the family… I felt pressure. So much pressure. I didn’t consider how overwhelming it would be for me to not only meet my biological father for the first time (appropriately at least)… I had met him once, on a VERY TRAMATIC night that he actually made light of… But also, the added pressure of having to have siblings out there. I was very upfront with him that I did not want to meet them in anyway until I was more stable myself because of what I’m going through… He said he respected that, his action said otherwise.

There was one week I was so sick… with what I’m going through right now, sometimes there’s whole months that I don’t feel good. I just have to give myself grace right now… For the first time in my life, I have to give myself some dang grace. I lived in fight or flight for 29 or 30 years… I don’t think people really understand. But he had texted me anywhere from a week to a month prior. When I felt better, I finally replied something like, “hey I’m sorry it took me so long to reply. This is exactly what I was talking about… I had another complete collapse and I just haven’t really been good.” I ended it with something else, I can’t really remember, and it’s not worth going to look at… Long story short, I apologized for my absence and… Homie ghosted my text message.
 
Bro… Facepalm.
 
But, I’m 31 years old, I’m not going to allow that to re-trigger daddy issues for me… And I didn’t. So, I didn’t really plan anything with him and we didn’t really speak much… I don’t even remember exactly what led up to this but I do remember… The Lord started giving me pictures. Pictures of… A ritual. Feelings… That I shouldn’t have. Memories… That I shouldn’t have. These include:
    •    Some type of black step thing (I believe an altar) with a skull, something red and a candle placed on it.
    •    I had a deliverance where santeria came up…
    •    Being attacked by nature spirits, car accident, dead owl…
    •    Always feeling my stomach not be OK when I would have to go do visitations.
    •    A Chappel, my Biological grandmother to my front left with her hands raised in the air, red sweater, white dress… during the same memory, I had a burning sensation “downstairs”… And, I remember seeing a man below me. The thing is with this memory, I clearly couldn’t move because I was on my back, it looks like my biological grandmother was summoning something if I’m being honest…
    •    I remember one morning, I threw up red. The story I remember was that… We had gone to shogun and I had food poisoning. I didn’t eat Shogun for probably a good 15 years after that because I really really thought that… I do not believe that’s what happened. From what I remember, throwing up… That was blood. I know it. I remember riding home with them in the car when I was sick… I remember I was sitting in the back of the car laying down and I had my fingers wrapped up in my hair. So much so, when I finally got home, my mom was like did they perm your hair? I remember saying no… But here’s the thing. I was in the car with two adults… I was sick. I do not remember them really speaking to me, or even noticing that I was curling my hair with my fingers… If you’re taking a child home from visitation that you love, do you sit them in the back of the car allow them to lay down and not speak to them at all? Probably not… Not normal.
    •    I remember kittens… I remember coming home with ringworm. I still have a scar to this day actually, on my left arm. My left arm actually… Symbolic for occult patterns. Was it really ringworm? Or was it a mark?
    •    I have this sound almost… It’s more like I can remember how the words hit me, but somebody telling me that I’m awful, ugly, unworthy, if I remember my parents will die, something about dying. I used to lay in bed and cry about people dying… all of these bad things… Just like a person basically with a vile look on their face telling me the worst things you could possibly tell a child about themselves. I don’t remember, who, what… When… Where… I just remember it.
    •    I remember a lake… I remember a three wheeler… And for some reason, a shed.
    •    I have also had a memory of a room that is all red… I don’t think this is a physical room or was, I think it is more so something that my brain psychologically made up… However, blood… Skin with blood, fresh, red blood… All over. Completely covered. Just a very vivid memory of fresh red blood all over skin. Wet blood all over skin… I don’t know. Trust me… When I get these flashbacks, they make me sick…
 

           Something that’s pretty profound to me… There couldn’t have been more than one year in between these two pictures. I know, for a fact, something happened to me… Look at my eyes, look at my weight, you can see the guardedness… The brokenness. What happened? I would love to know…
 
I don’t think anybody understands how… Wilted this feeling makes me feel. It hurts my heart so much for the little girl in these two pictures… That’s me… I know, for a fact, I was so scared, so confused, I didn’t understand… It was too much for me. I learned to disassociate. I don’t think I understood what it meant… But I remember even sitting in high school classes and being like goodness gracious… I cannot pay attention. I end up daydreaming all the time. All. the. Time.
 
Now, on top of that… My Mom got married when I was five years old and we moved out of my grandparents house. I went from an environment where there was really much fighting… to… Screaming and yelling. And guess who’s super sensitive to frequencies, always has been? Me. I remember sitting in bed some nights, so paralyzed because I was just terrified of what was actually going on… All I could hear was screaming. Sometimes it sounded like people were fighting for their lives… but you know, when you’re a kid and you don’t know what’s going on… You just hear screaming… Your imagination runs wild, Your breaths get shallow, You get that hot feeling… You try to make yourself small within the bed. I don’t know, that’s what I did… I did it for 13 years…
 
With this said, I don’t blame my parents. We’re all in perfect people, is it technically on them? Yeah. But I can also give Grace at the fact that my mother was 19 when she was pregnant with me, that she was treated like absolute shit by two men back to back, And… All she did was truly ever want to be a good mom. Even if her addiction ended up being the result of my parents divorcing, I don’t care. I’m proud of her. She left, took care of herself, and came back remorseful and changed… And for that, I’m thankful.
 
Now, sometimes you have parents to do that, and sometimes you have parents that will… Double down on the way that they are. It is what it is man. You can’t force people to change or feel sorry to validate the way that they made you feel… I learned that forgiveness is really, truly not about the other person at all… It’s 100% about you. Your heart posture, you reconciling your heart with the Lord. That’s all that matters. His grace is sufficient for all.
 
As you can see it… I’m kind of all over the place even talking about this stuff. The result of long-term trauma, complex at that… Has wrecked havoc on my cognitive state. It’s embarrassing. I can’t work get now—the Lord has called me out of the modern rk force… A hard pill to w because, working was my autopilot. It’s hard to explain to people that don’t get it… If you don’t get it… Just be thankful. Don’t judge other others that have these issues. Because if you know anything about me… You know, I’m not an excuse maker. I’m not a weak pansy excuse making person… I work and I work hard, and I execute things with excellence because… You’re supposed to. This season of having to rest… Heal… Oh my goodness. Not my element. But very, very necessary. And
 I’m thankful for it, no matter the pain.


Long story short, I found out that the biological side of mine… Well, my biological great grandfather ran the Masonic lodge in downtown Mckinney… Guess what? My other great grandfather that was not blood but, there was still legal federal paperwork, signed, you know all that stuff… It matters in the spiritual realm too. I was legally blinded to this other family, where, Someone was also a Mason and… Actually owned a lot of the land in Frisco. Lol… No bueno. My bloodlines, at least in a spirit… Riddled with the occult. I’m talking… Riddled.
 
So it made a lot of sense why I was so attacked… I ended up telling my biological father I did not want to continue any type of relationship, and then in the name of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, I broke all bloodline, covenant, ties, witchcraft, etc. with that bloodline… And that was that. I was on the phone with my mom while doing this, I refrain from telling her that while I was typing the message out to my father. I was literally about to have a heart attack. Still to this day, I know for a fact, the only reason I did not have a heart attack was because the Lord was guiding my steps… that leviathan, python spirit, man… That’s serpent of old… Was constricting around my heart while I was trying to stand in Christ Jesus over what they had done to me and marked me with… and with the blood of Jesus Christ, the Messiah… He broke that mark.

No, like… For real. Like two days later, I realize I had this burn mark on my floor… Weird? Right. Well… What’s even more weird is… The only thing that could’ve possibly come through (this is a real thing… Trust me I’ve started this stuff a lot for a lot of years) was a mirror, from Hobby lobby, that I had not asked the Lord to anoint and blessed… Cleansed it of any iniquities or attachments… And from the look at this, it looks like whatever the entity that was attached to me when I was a child by satanic ritual, abuse, tried to manifest one last time… And the Lord literally burned it. He singed it. He literally kicked it out. He freed me… Meaning… I was cursed to be used for the kingdom of darkness in the black awakening… These are all the occult terminologies that are happening in the world right now; Black Pope, counterfeit, resurrections, counterfeit baptisms… Yeah. It’s pretty gross. They basically just invert everything that the Lord God of host does…


 
People now think I tend to over spiritualized things, overthink, that what I talk about is because I endlessly scroll, and that’s where I’m getting my information…
 
And what Those of you who think that are failing to understand… I changed, because of what I experienced… I learned about these things, by literally staring them in the face… I have literally been through hell, but guess what? God’s not scared of hell… for the light entered the darkness, and darkness could not comprehend it… Christ is not scared of the darkness… He quite literally goes to the darkness to get you out of it… He leaves the 99 for the one. Yeah… It’s real. He’s real—and what He did is real. His works on the cross.
 
I say all this to say… This world is not going to continue the way is much longer. It’s impossible. And with Donald Trump, just shutting the door on every single victim of either sexual assault, and or satanic ritual abuse, the fate of anybody supporting this man, and this man… Is in the Lord’s hands. But, Luckily, the Holy Spirit literally told me not to vote the last election anyways… Very glad I started following my discernment.
 
I think a lot more people have been victims of things I’m talking about than they think… I don’t think people understand what handlers are, I don’t think that people understand how… Yeah, this is in your local city. This was done to me by normal people of the “church”. Tell me why, I’ve been attacked by witchcraft two times now by… Christians. Literally… Pharisees. You brood a vipers… You serpents… You are of your father, the devil, and he has always been a liar…
 
But the good thing is, I found Nathan Reynolds testimony… I’m definitely harassing his email, and I told him I would be harassing his email until he answers me… but, he comes from these families. He comes from the deep side that… Most don’t survive. And he brought forth the Lord‘s light on it… these people abuse, their children before the age of seven in so many different ways… It’s hard to even know what possibly happened to me. I can guess… But I don’t know. They drug you, so you can’t remember. They use things comparable or the actual MK ultra, project, artichoke, blue beam, there’s other names for it… you guys this stuff is real. I can’t remember what happened to me. And that’s driving me… Not mad, but I have this righteous anger… I must know. I must know because I must help others…
 
If they can fragment you before the age of seven, the earlier the better… They can control you. I was fragmented and controlled by fear, some other things that I haven’t fully figured out yet… But definitely control and manipulation. There was a curse over my voice as well. It also physically broke off, and I coughed stuff up… I also believe that some thing was possibly put inside of me… I have a memory, that I don’t really want to get into… But, the things that have been happening with my digestive tract are also just not normal… I’ve had some other things happen that I’m just not ready to share yet. But this is my reality.
 
Also, tell me why I so vividly know and remember… Every single word still did this day, I will be 32 years old in September… London Bridge is falling down, ring around the Posey, And whatever the other ones are… remember seeing those, holding hands with somebody and dancing in a circle… Do you understand what those symbolize? London Bridge is falling down… ashes, to ashes… why was I singing these things as a child?
 
Why do I have memories of somebody telling me that… If it was raining while the sun was out and meant that the devil was beating his wife.
 
Why do I have memories of watching a video, I remember it being a cartoon, but still… A cat being put inside of a washing machine? Or a dryer?… Why all these memories of cats? I remember adults… Supposed to be caretakers, talking about how they would literally kill cats and… Laugh about it.
 
Why do I remember being pulled to sexual things around five years old? I had no idea what I was thinking about, doing or feeling… but WHY DID I KNOW? Why did I know what it was…?
 
All of these things have led me to believe the pretty obvious… Something pretty terrible happened to me pretty young… That nobody knew about. And I was forced to have amnesia. I have a feeling this happened through a variety of ritual drugs, cantations, and threats, a.k.a. hexes, and curses spoken over me that I internalized… Into my stomach. It all makes so much sense…
 
My entire life, even if I have simply gone on vacation, which is an exciting thing… If there is any simple change to my routine at all whatsoever… My digestive track is messed up. I never knew why… But, the body keeps the score.
 
Since having these memories, learning about the lady of the lake… Reading the book, eaters of children by Johnny C, I’m still not done with it… But still… These things are bringing back… Familiarities. Feels like another life I know about… But there’s a massive split in me. And while it’s so painful, I’m finally happy to have a reason for why I am the way I am…
 
There has always been this war inside of me. This self-destructivness of myself, But yet… I’m happy girl, I’m bubbly, I love people, I love to smile, I love to make people happy, I love to help others… I have such a heart for the weak, the needy… the less fortunate… but something keeps me away from people. Something keeps me in isolation… I do think half of it is the Lord doing a healing season with me, obviously much needed… But it’s like… There’s something missing that’s messing with me still… I can’t let it go. I have to know in order to move on. I cannot move on if something like this profoundly happened to me… Because if it happened to me and I didn’t know until 31 years old… Who else has it happened too?
 
Justice… Justice… Justice…
 
I understand vengeance is not mine. But are we not commanded to call out wickedness? And turn from it?
 
Exactly…
 
It’s that warrior spirit. That warrior fire spirit that Nathan Reynolds talks about… I, too have this… I stand up for the little guy. I stand up for the week. I stand up for the vulnerable. I stand up for the victims, the widows, the orphans… Just as the word of God says…
 
People think the biggest problem in this world is homelessness… Lol. No. It’s the fact that luciferians run the world, and they are fracturing, raping, binding and attaching demons/marks/curses, drinking/siphoning  the blood-and eating the children…
 
This is nothing new. It shouldn’t be shocking honestly… If you understand the Bible. Passing the children through the fire of molech. Everybody Passes through the fire, how, and when you go through it… Is technically up to you. And I’m talking about the Lord‘s fire… Ain’t nobody scared of the devils counterfeit. The devil has no authority here in Jesus name.
 
I can relate this to him first Chronicles, directly related to Paul’s teaching and revelation he received from Jesus Christ, the new ministry of reconciliation… There’s a certain descendent that is different… line of David, aaron… and as long as you turn to the Lord, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been marked by the dragon or not… Christ will cleanse your blood. He did mine…
 
I speak on this because… If I don’t, then I’m literally not speaking on my testimony. And that would just be… A waste and a shame.
 
Why would I not speak on the things that the Lord has given me life? Literally… Although… This has been a very painful stripping process, and I honestly would never wanna go through it again lol… It was necessary. This pain was necessary. It is necessary…
 
But I speak on it because… It would be an injustice, not too. If Nathan Reynolds hadn’t spoken on his, I would’ve never spoken on mine… people don’t understand what it’s like to have this stuff in your bloodline… these entities, the spirits, whatever you wanna call them… They’re violent… And they want to kill you. And they do not stop until they’re forced to by Jesus Christ the Messiah… I have witnessed that, I have witnessed the power of the Holy Spirit, the Lord, god of hosts who reigns from heaven, forever, and ever…
 
I cannot wait until I have more clarity on this situation. Until I have the ability to write an actual story that’s not ping-pong back-and-forth, and I can actually sit down, and synchronize my events from beginning to end… I have not yet had the ability to do that… The fracture. If you have a fracture… You understand what I mean when I say sometimes… Your brain just glitches. It’s almost like when, you’re way too close to the target… They gotta throw something at you. It’s horrible. It’s war with this other side of myself… The other side of myself that I don’t even know, it’s not me… It’s created off of a fracture because I dissociated within a traumatic event that split me… It creates a new, you… One that only comes out when triggered. People can have thousands of these… I’m blessed to it seems like, only have one remaining…
 
This situation, this issue… That I just now understand what it is, has hurt many relationships of mine, has caused me to hurt myself… Has caused self-destruction, self harming behavior, self harming addictive behaviors, A mistrust of even though I love… A coldness… That I’ve had to fight… i’ve had to continuously surrender it to the Lord over and over every time it comes up… It’s so hard. It’s so heavy. That side of me it’s so lost… I feel like it’s in a cold black void. There’s an entity involved with it that I see too… it’s very tall, it is completely pitch black, avoid. It has very sharp fingers such as Edward Scissorhands, except as I said, it’s all black. Avoid except for… It’s eyes are two white dots. That’s it… From my understanding, it’s the spirit of horror, terror… I believe it possibly is a fragmentation of the dragon, Apollo… The devil…
 
What’s even more upsetting is when you talk about stuff like this, the normal average person gets upset. They think that me talking about this stuff is demonic… Well, it definitely is demonic, but speaking about it is not demonic… This is my story. If my story is too intense for you, you can exit anytime you would like to… I’m going to continue to stand in the authority that the Lord God of host, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the Messiah… Has called me to stand in.
 
With the power of His blood—it is finished.
 
We will remember.
 
TB.

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